Folks split at 18. Affairs; discord. Father remarried a **something else**. Mom bitter. Damn….all too familiar.
I’m also a mom to a beautiful daughter, (and I have a few years on you)…and I safely bet you WILL rise and soar. Heads up; there’s a magic internal switch in your future 5th decade…it’s amazing. It’s like a blender that smoothies all of your earlier pain, suffering and loss and serves you peace - but that recipe needs all of the key ingredients at that specific time.
You are KILOMETRES more confident, driven and self aware than I was….you’re going to be just fine - I am convinced. Love your content; it’s worthy. xo
Amber, I'm sorry for your loss. My mother passed on March 4. She had lived with me for almost 15 years and it was just us after my divorce. Waiting for it to get better. I know it will. It will for you too. Hang in there.
Not your mom, but I am a mom and I am sending you a hug and telling you that you are beautiful and amazing and strong (though being strong sucks) and brilliant and you can do this (though it probably won't be skittles and rainbows). Your letter to yourself is correct, it will be worth all the hurt.
I struggle with this so much. When my first marriage crashed, after a buunch of bad relationships, self-destructive behavior, depression, etc., I finally decided to withdraw from all my social obligations with the intent to “work on myself”. As part of it, I chose to attempt to look in the mirror and say, “I love you” every day. It wasn’t hard because I’m a guy and wasn’t socialized for it; it was impossible because I couldn’t even look myself in the eye. The dishonesty was too evident. I didn’t believe that guy looking at me. He was full of shit, incapable. It took patience and consistent effort but eventually I could say it, and eventually feel it, and finally believe it.
That and a lot of other work finally filled me with the desire to share that with someone. I thought of one friend that might understand and finally made my first phone call since my hermitage began to schedule lunch. This June we will celebrate 35 years of marriage.
I still struggle though. But I have a partner who understands why, who won’t let me give up, and who I trust with my own fragility.
As a fellow self dickhead, thank you. Thank you for the reminder that I don't have to be. Thank you for sharing your moment of clarity, and from my favorite store, no less. Thank you for being you.
Your latest entry was my Yung moment.
Folks split at 18. Affairs; discord. Father remarried a **something else**. Mom bitter. Damn….all too familiar.
I’m also a mom to a beautiful daughter, (and I have a few years on you)…and I safely bet you WILL rise and soar. Heads up; there’s a magic internal switch in your future 5th decade…it’s amazing. It’s like a blender that smoothies all of your earlier pain, suffering and loss and serves you peace - but that recipe needs all of the key ingredients at that specific time.
You are KILOMETRES more confident, driven and self aware than I was….you’re going to be just fine - I am convinced. Love your content; it’s worthy. xo
Amber, I'm sorry for your loss. My mother passed on March 4. She had lived with me for almost 15 years and it was just us after my divorce. Waiting for it to get better. I know it will. It will for you too. Hang in there.
Not your mom, but I am a mom and I am sending you a hug and telling you that you are beautiful and amazing and strong (though being strong sucks) and brilliant and you can do this (though it probably won't be skittles and rainbows). Your letter to yourself is correct, it will be worth all the hurt.
<3
You are the one you've been waiting for.
I struggle with this so much. When my first marriage crashed, after a buunch of bad relationships, self-destructive behavior, depression, etc., I finally decided to withdraw from all my social obligations with the intent to “work on myself”. As part of it, I chose to attempt to look in the mirror and say, “I love you” every day. It wasn’t hard because I’m a guy and wasn’t socialized for it; it was impossible because I couldn’t even look myself in the eye. The dishonesty was too evident. I didn’t believe that guy looking at me. He was full of shit, incapable. It took patience and consistent effort but eventually I could say it, and eventually feel it, and finally believe it.
That and a lot of other work finally filled me with the desire to share that with someone. I thought of one friend that might understand and finally made my first phone call since my hermitage began to schedule lunch. This June we will celebrate 35 years of marriage.
I still struggle though. But I have a partner who understands why, who won’t let me give up, and who I trust with my own fragility.
Ty for this and book idea. You mom sounds like she was your biggest cheerleader ❤️
As a fellow self dickhead, thank you. Thank you for the reminder that I don't have to be. Thank you for sharing your moment of clarity, and from my favorite store, no less. Thank you for being you.