Have found that The Devil's Advocates have a surrogate army of "Radical Candour" sycophants who spent 8 mins skimming that book and took it to mean that if you're dropping napalm and bohazardous waste on your colleagues/partners/team they should eat it up with a spoon because....they were just being candid. FFS. For that reason alone, we should ban Coles Notes or Cliff Notes being produced for any book with a NUANCED idea. Nuance is the first casualty of being succinct...insert Twitter.
A request please DJ (if you're a DJ that takes requests) but could you write a similar piece on the agonizing death of "passive aggressive" where you're grin-f**ked by a group that have zero intention of doing anything with you idea...but the passive-aggressive is an excellent way of stalling.
Keep being you Amber!! This is a wonderful Friday jolt.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the brilliance of "Fuckmuppets." Can you see the flapping mouths, the sock puppetry, the men who don't dare to raise their own heads out of hiding? Perfection.
What a powerful reminder, Amber. I try to keep in mind the wisdom of Fred Rogers, who said in situations like this we ought to ask ourselves, “What would be the kindest choice?”
Sometimes the kindest choice is to say nothing, while at other times it’s to speak up with honesty and empathy—always paired up.
My ex husband used to say the MEANEST things to me. Especially when it came to any failings I'd had at work. I had a string of shitty jobs and shitty bosses right in a row for a number of reasons a couple of years ago (the biggest of which were, I needed to make more money because my then-husband was putting pressure on me, and meanwhile he was turning into an abusive fuckwad at home who went on to have a total mental breakdown that almost resulted in hospitalization). I made a string of job choices based on dollar signs and desperation. And when things didn't work out, my wasband would accuse me of having a personality problem and of being a controlling bitch, which was likely, in his eyes, why I kept having issues.
When I brought up to him how fucking unkind he was, he told me, "You're just a snowflake who can't handle it when shit gets real. I'm just telling you the truth."
No matter how I tried to explain it to his narcissistic face, he couldn't understand that truth comes from 2 places -- a place of love and kindness where you are gentle and really do want to help, and a place of asshole-ery where you're out to prove superiority rather than help. Guess which place he visited?
This post. Reminded me of that. And how it's not ok. And I'm not alone in having experienced this kind of horrible treatment. As sad as it is, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
I want to wrap up this entire post and give it as a stocking stuffer to everyone I know, holy shit this was good
Have found that The Devil's Advocates have a surrogate army of "Radical Candour" sycophants who spent 8 mins skimming that book and took it to mean that if you're dropping napalm and bohazardous waste on your colleagues/partners/team they should eat it up with a spoon because....they were just being candid. FFS. For that reason alone, we should ban Coles Notes or Cliff Notes being produced for any book with a NUANCED idea. Nuance is the first casualty of being succinct...insert Twitter.
A request please DJ (if you're a DJ that takes requests) but could you write a similar piece on the agonizing death of "passive aggressive" where you're grin-f**ked by a group that have zero intention of doing anything with you idea...but the passive-aggressive is an excellent way of stalling.
Keep being you Amber!! This is a wonderful Friday jolt.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the brilliance of "Fuckmuppets." Can you see the flapping mouths, the sock puppetry, the men who don't dare to raise their own heads out of hiding? Perfection.
The older I get, the dumber I discover I’ve been. Love you, m’dear.
What a powerful reminder, Amber. I try to keep in mind the wisdom of Fred Rogers, who said in situations like this we ought to ask ourselves, “What would be the kindest choice?”
Sometimes the kindest choice is to say nothing, while at other times it’s to speak up with honesty and empathy—always paired up.
My ex husband used to say the MEANEST things to me. Especially when it came to any failings I'd had at work. I had a string of shitty jobs and shitty bosses right in a row for a number of reasons a couple of years ago (the biggest of which were, I needed to make more money because my then-husband was putting pressure on me, and meanwhile he was turning into an abusive fuckwad at home who went on to have a total mental breakdown that almost resulted in hospitalization). I made a string of job choices based on dollar signs and desperation. And when things didn't work out, my wasband would accuse me of having a personality problem and of being a controlling bitch, which was likely, in his eyes, why I kept having issues.
When I brought up to him how fucking unkind he was, he told me, "You're just a snowflake who can't handle it when shit gets real. I'm just telling you the truth."
No matter how I tried to explain it to his narcissistic face, he couldn't understand that truth comes from 2 places -- a place of love and kindness where you are gentle and really do want to help, and a place of asshole-ery where you're out to prove superiority rather than help. Guess which place he visited?
This post. Reminded me of that. And how it's not ok. And I'm not alone in having experienced this kind of horrible treatment. As sad as it is, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.